Postpartum Journey
I want to take a moment to write about my experience postpartum, particularly those initial days after becoming a mother. I vividly remember sitting in my favorite teal chair, cradling my baby and reflecting on the immense changes and the numerous identity shifts that were unfolding around me. It was a time filled with the impact of others offering their unsolicited opinions and feedback on this little human, for whom I was responsible, alongside her father/my husband of course. There were concerns about her not gaining weight quickly enough, which led me to reach out to lactation consultants as well as my amazing midwives. The nurses in the hospital could not have been more fantastic, providing support as we navigated all the methods and practices we could employ to encourage this little one to gain weight. There was only one nurse who my husband requested not be part of our recovery team after she kept pushing us to give the our newborn formula.
Compounding the experience was my recovery from an emergency C-section, which unfortunately came with its challenges. At 41 weeks and 5 days we arrived at the hospital for an induction which quickly went from hopes of wandering the halls and time in the bath to being monitored due to the little one’s heart rate dropping with every contraction. I had an epidural, which took two tries to get in and felt like hours of trying to hold still during contractions (the mind can be a friend or enemy!).
After discharge, I was fortunate enough to have incredibly supportive coworkers, especially when I developed an infection in my C-section scar and my OB’s office was unable to fit me in for a few days. It was reassuring to see one of my medical professional colleagues, who helped guide me through that issue, though it cascaded to another layer of struggle due to the antibiotics I had to take. Dealing with a yeast infection for my little one and treating with iodine meant her tiny mouth was stained purple (another thing for a new mom to wrap her head around and answer questions from the fearless public). Remarkably, all these events unfolded within the first 6 weeks not months of her life.
During those moments, I found myself seeking alone time to reflect on how different I felt compared to just a short time ago, when I had felt pretty in control and excited about life, empowered in my decisions and my surroundings. Now, I was experiencing a disorienting lack of control, overwhelmed and confused, with emotions bombarding me from every direction. Despite having people around me, there were times I felt truly alone in my struggle. While I certainly had a support system, I recognized that my journey could have taken a different path, one similar to so many women I encounter in my professional life on a daily basis.
In fact, it was during those first few days that I, although the word “vowed” comes to mind, realized my commitment to ensuring that others would not have to endure the same feelings of isolation and confusion that I was grappling with. Knowing that I had access to numerous resources and support, I felt a strong desire to be that resource for individuals who lack a village, a support network, to help guide them through their own journeys.
