Healing After Birth Trauma: How EMDR Can Help You Reclaim Your Story

Dec 23

Introduction:
For many mothers, childbirth isn’t the joyful experience they envisioned—it’s a moment of trauma that leaves lasting scars. If you’re struggling to move past a difficult birth, you’re not alone. The good news? EMDR therapy is a powerful tool to help you heal, reframe your story, and reclaim your confidence as a mother.

Main Points:

What Is Birth Trauma?
- Birth trauma can be anything where after your experience you are left feeling detached from your experience, frustrated with what happened, or notice you are seeing the world or yourself differently. Birth trauma can be from emergency C-sections, prolonged labor, or feeling unsupported during delivery. You may have blacked out parts of your memory, experienced intense pain or even questioned whether you, your baby or both would survive (or if you are a partner you experience intense emotions when thinking about what you witnessed/experienced in your baby’s birth.
- It’s okay to feel upset about your birth experience—it doesn’t make you a bad mom. So many moms carry guilt for the way their baby entered the world - I may not know you but I can assure you this was not your fault and you are not to blame for what happened before/during or after the birth. Feeling like your body failed you/your baby is so common. Feeling guilty for not being able to do skin to skin right away, having your baby whisked to the NICU or not having the confidence or words to advocate to delay cutting the cord are so common. Not-your-fault.
How Birth Trauma Affects You:
- A birth experience that did not go as expected may lead to having flashbacks about the experience, images flying into your mind without warning. You may have waves of anxiety, increased heart rate, feel nauseous or be overcome with guilt. Fear of leaving your baby even with trusted adults is also quite common after a birth trauma. There are many physical reminders such as scars or residual pain. You might notice you are avoiding follow up appointments with a doctor that abandoned you, let you down or you are fearful of even if you don’t understand why.
- Unresolved trauma can affect relationships and parenting. It can scar trust between parents or frame this next chapter if you feel you are responsible or place a burden on yourself to “make up” for what happened. Anxiety can lead to withdrawal and depression can decrease interactions or lead to negativity. When we have experienced trauma we get so caught up in our experience we can detach from others and reality.
How EMDR Works to Heal Birth Trauma:
- EMDR helps you reprocess painful memories in a safe, supportive environment. EMDR therapists can guide you through your experience from what we call an Adaptive Information Processing lens - bringing the reassurance of health and safety from the present back to what you experienced through your birth.
- EMDR uses the mind body connection to ground you in safety before immersing you in what happened. We keep one foot in the present and use bilateral stimulation (usually eye movement, tapping or sounds bouncing from one side to the other) to reduce the distress you carry related to the birth. We can’t change what happened, but we can free you from the distress you carry connected to that day.
- I have honorably witnessed many clients come in tearful, resentful and full of guilt for what they have experienced, then after a few sessions leave with a clearer memory of ALL that happened that day, not just the disappointment, fear and frustration. They feel lighter, less overwhelmed and motivated to spend time with the baby they have, not feeling overcome with the experience they wanted.