Navigating Resentment and Passive-Aggressiveness: A Normal Part of New Motherhood

Let me tell you - this comes up a lot in my office and in my own life. As new mothers, we often find ourselves navigating a whirlwind of emotions: overwhelming love for our little ones, profound joy in our new role, but also, if we're honest, moments of frustration and resentment. It's okay to admit that sometimes, we feel resentment towards our partners. It's okay to feel that surge of irritation when they don't seem to understand just how tired we are, or when they can't seem to find the right diaper bag, even though it's been in the same spot for weeks. We also totally get that you can feel jealous of their lives continuing just like no human dropped into our lives and our lives are flipped upside down. Seriously. It's okay because these feelings are not uncommon.

As we adjust to our new roles, we may find ourselves communicating with our partners in ways we never imagined – sometimes through passive-aggressive comments or actions. We might leave the dishes in the sink a little longer than usual, or we might snap at them over something trivial. It's not because we don't love them or appreciate them, but because we're overwhelmed. We're struggling to find balance in a life that suddenly feels out of control.

This frustration often stems from a deep desire for things to be different – for more time for ourselves, for more quality time with our partners, for a sense of control over our lives. We want to be able to enjoy every moment with our family while also being able to accomplish the never-ending to-do list that comes with motherhood.

So, if you're feeling resentment towards your partner, know that you're not alone. It's a normal part of the journey of new motherhood. But it's also an opportunity for growth and communication. Talk to your partner about how you're feeling. Share your struggles and your needs. (spoiler alert: they can’t read your mind). Together, you can find ways to support each other and navigate this new chapter of your lives with love, understanding, and compassion.