How to help a friend with Postpartum Depression
Women can experience postpartum depression (PPD) for various reasons, often beyond their control or due to personal actions. Approximately 1 in 4 women will be diagnosed with PPD. Symptoms may include feeling constantly tired yet unable to sleep even when there is an opportunity, self-blame for their child's issues or challenges, and uncharacteristic behaviour, such as yelling at their child during the night. This often results in emotional pain and difficulty in repairing the relationship with themselves and their child, making self-forgiveness a challenge.
Dealing with postpartum depression can be isolating, frequently accompanied by stigma and shame. Having a supportive friend who can normalize these feelings and stay with you during uncomfortable moments can be incredibly valuable. Sometimes, it’s not about what you do but your presence and willingness to share in the discomfort that makes a significant difference. When someone we care about is hurting, our first response is often to stop the pain, but this can leave individuals feeling burdened by our emotions, pressured to feel better, or invalidated.
Despite deeply caring about this person, jumping into problem-solving is not always the answer. Consider shifting the conversation to simply sitting with them and acknowledging, “Yes, this sucks, and I am here.” Women often feel pressured to love their postpartum journey, experiencing stigma and a sense of failure when they don’t. As a friend, you can play a crucial role in alleviating this experience by acknowledging that postpartum is hard and not always what it's made out to be. Recognize that PPD can ruin the experience and that it’s not always within one's control.
Offer your friends the space to feel how they feel without judgment or the need to perform. Let them know that their house doesn’t need to be clean, that it’s okay to show up with puke on their shirt, and that they can call crying, admitting things are not going well, without pressure. Motherhood is a long journey, and when combined with PPD, it requires tender love and care. Friends deserve recognition and support.
Society often shares abundant advice on pregnancy, parenting, and creating the picture-perfect postpartum journey, but this isn't always the reality.
As friends, we can help normalize this by asking key questions to check in, such as:
How are you feeling?
How are you doing?
How are you coping?
How are you sleeping?
How are you eating?
Are you enjoying being pregnant or being a new parent?
Helpful Tips for Supporting Women with Postpartum Depression
Many women have found the following tips particularly helpful during their journey with postpartum depression:
Recognize the symptoms of PPD.
Be available and present for your friend.
Acknowledge her experience and progress without judgment.
Let her express her feelings in any way they need to be expressed.
Encourage and support her in getting enough sleep, aiming for at least four-hour increments.
Promote nourishing foods that provide essential nutrients and energy.
Encourage exercise, such as walking, which can release dopamine, also known as the “happy hormone.”
